Kiss & Slash

Straphangers get ready for their close-up.

By Jim Knipfel


A well-dressed, six-foot-tall woman got into a verbal tiff with a 48-year-old man on a southbound A train about 7 Friday night as the train rattled toward Bed-Stuy. As per standard operating procedure, at least one straphanger whipped out his cell phone and began filming the altercation, dreaming of viral YouTube stardom.


At one point the tall woman reportedly said. “Do you want to see what’s gonna happen when I get off this train? I’m gonna cut you.” Then just to clarify, she reached into her purse and pulled out what was only described as “a sharp object,” which she then pointed at the man’s face.


The tall woman, clearly aware of her surroundings, the situation, and the prevailing SOP, and with obvious dreams of her own forthcoming Internet stardom, turned to the camera and blew it a kiss before lunging at the 48-year-old, cutting his head and face with the object. As other passengers scrabbled to pull the woman back, a 28-year-old woman was likewise cut on the face.


All three then got off the train at Nostrand Ave., and as the woman fled, her two victims stayed behind to decline medical attention.


Yes, it all leaves me a little suspicious, too.


Published December 31st, 2015

Jim Knipfel is the author of Slackjaw, The Blow-Off, These Children Who Come at You With Knives, and several other books.