But What a Deal!

New York City Blotter: Cognac Is Available At Liquor Stores Too

By Jim Knipfel

You ask me, it all seems a little too unduly complicated than is really necessary, but what the hell do I know? Early on New Year’s Eve, a man made arrangements with someone on Facebook to meet at a corner of Houston St. in the West Village at 6PM, where he would pay $40 for two bottles of Hennessy Cognac. I mean, sure, that’s a mighty fine price but still — how much do you really want to trust someone who’s selling top-shelf booze on a street corner? Unless there was something else going on there, right? But that’s the story the victim was telling anyway.

So they both arrived at the appointed spot at the appointed time, and the seller did indeed have the promised merchandise with him. But as so often happens in deals like this, some last minute haggling began. Maybe the price suddenly went up considering the holiday rush, or maybe the unnamed buyer suddenly decided he didn’t want to pay the agreed-upon $40 for some potentially iffy black market hootch.

Voices were raised, and in his anger and frustration the buyer, caught up in the festive moment, whipped out a knife and stabbed the seller in the shoulder.

But catharsis is a funny thing, and after stabbing the dealer the buyer calmed down, had a change of heart, handed over the agreed-upon $40, took his cognac and went home.

Here’s just hoping that after all that hoohah he didn’t get to the party later and realize what he bought was two bottles of oregano.

Published January 7th, 2016

Jim Knipfel is the author of Slackjaw, The Blow-Off, These Children Who Come at You With Knives, and several other books.