Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute (Or We’ll Beat the Crap Out of You)

New York City Blotter: Punk Rockers Just Want To Can It

By Jim Knipfel

A pair of environmentally-conscious punk rock kids (one complete with a Mohawk so you know he means business) approached two litterbugs on 10th Ave. in Hell’s Kitchen about 2:30 on the morning of December 19th. The crusading punks, I’m guessing all hepped up on Scream and Minor Threat, were reportedly brandishing heavy but unknown objects when they accused the two men of just tossing their trash on the sidewalk. I mean, don’t they have any civic pride at all? What the fuck do they think all these corner trash cans are for, anyway? Set dressing? And look—there’s one right over there, and you just drop your goddamn Doritos bag on the ground like some kind of animal? What is wrong with you? Go pick it the hell up and put it where it belongs, Dumpy Digby!

An argument ensued about our responsibilities as citizens and the state of the world’s delicate ecological balance. Then the punks beat the shit out of the two men, leaving them bloodied and crumpled on the sidewalk, one with a concussion and several broken ribs.

Then the punks ran away, yeah, just leaving that mess behind for someone else to clean up. NOW who’s the litterbug, smart guy?

Published January 7th, 2016


Jim Knipfel is the author of Slackjaw, The Blow-Off, These Children Who Come at You With Knives, and several other books.