Why Are You Still Single?

By Yvonne Stegall

As a single you’ve probably been asked this numerous times. You’ve probably been asked when you are going to give your parents grandchildren, and been asked why you can’t just find someone and settle done. There is no one that understands the life of a single person less than someone that is not single. Even those that have only been in the world of coupling for a short period of time quickly forget what it is like to be single.

There could be a million reasons why you are single, some of them because you want to be single, and some of them because that’s just the hand that life has dealt you. Other people also may not understand that just because you are single doesn’t mean you aren’t dating. Then again, maybe you aren’t dating.

 Which category do you fit in? Are you single by choice, or not?

Your Single Because You Want to Be

This is one of those things that is hard for many to understand, especially the people that wish they were in a steady relationship with you. Why on earth would you want to be single, alone, and on your own? For some people this choice is easy because they want to focus on school or their career. It’s a no brainer, relationships can get in the way of life goals. Maybe you date on occasion, or maybe you don’t date at all.

Mostly, it’s likely that you are single because you aren’t willing to settle for any Tom, Dick, or Janet that comes along. You’re holding out for someone special, and you just haven’t found them. If you fit into this category it’s pretty likely that you are dating, and on the search for the right person.

Your Single Because, Well, That’s the Way the Cookie Crumbles

You’re dating, or trying to, and you’re completely open to starting a relationship, but you just haven’t had any luck finding someone that feels the same way. It could be that you’re looking for love in all the wrong places. If your main hunting ground is the bar, there’s part of your problem. Most lasting relationships don’t start at a bar. Not saying it couldn’t, but it usually doesn’t.

If this is you, take a close look at yourself. Try to figure out what it is about you that is chasing people away. Maybe even ask some of your more honest friends if they can help you figure out why it is you’re not finding someone that is interested in a relationship with you. Maybe you’re too clingy, maybe you’re too loud and obnoxious, or maybe you come off as too shy.

When you realize what is holding you back from finding love you can start making the changes you need to make in order to get into a relationship. If you like your single status, then so be it. You can still date and have fun, without any strings attached. Just know, though, that often no strings attached relationships end up with one person getting their feelings hurt because they started to fall in love.

Times have changed. Where once people had sex buddies as friends, now online culture makes it easier to hook up with more people. Dating sites exist, but most people use Tinder to find love, romance, and sex, if that’s all they are looking for.

Come back next week to learn how to make the changes you need to in order to find a loving relationship, or at least someone that will go on more than one date with you. While you don’t need to change yourself to find love, sometimes bettering yourself can be a good thing, for more than just changing your relationship status.

Published January 13th, 2016


Yvonne Stegall is a professional freelance writer who got her start in music reviews. She managed to build on that love of writing and became editor of the music magazine she did reviews for. Since then, Yvonne has gone on to write on many subjects, including health & wellness and beer. https://www.facebook.com/WriterYvonne